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A Collection of Condolences by Moose Allain

I'm sorry to hear your uncle was run over by a boat in Venice. My gondolences.

I'm sad to hear about Nigel Farage. Nothing's happened to him, I'm just sad to hear about him.

Sad to hear the Dutch inventor of inflatable shoes has popped his clogs.

Sad to hear that the world's worst tennis player has died. There will be a series of short services in his honour.

Sad to hear the inventor of wheat intolerance has died. The family have requested no flours.

Sad to hear that inventor of inflated florist prices is pushing up the daisies.

Sad to hear that the inventor of motorway breaks has died. He will be remembered at a number of services across the country.

Sad to hear that the inventor of vinyl records has died. He wentor of vinyl rec entor of vinyl rec entor of vinyl rec entor of vinyl rec ent

Sad to hear the inventor of the football penalty has died. He will be missed by a great many England players.

I thank you.

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